I was told a long time ago that I would have to have a C-section.
C-section = surgery. I know surgery. Plus, this surgery is more simple and less invasive than most of them that I have had, which means quick recovery time.
I can do surgery. I've done surgery. Surgery is rough, but okay by me. A few days of tolerable pain, hunched back, and feeling completely exhausted. I can do that!
So imagine my surprise when my doctor says, "The most recent studies have shown there is less risk for those in your condition to have babies natural."
Yes, but not all of them have my pain tolerance! Not all of them have an extreme fear of giving birth! Not all of them have severe anxiety that things will go terribly wrong, leaving one incapacitated and completely incapable of normal functioning only to live a life of complete inconvenience and discomfort for the rest of their days with no cure or reprieve!
You know who does?
Plus, on top of that, my life is governed by Murphy's Law. There is a saying about me, "Everything I touch turns to crap," Because it does.
Of course, after hearing this frightening news, I complained to a friend, because when I want to freak out, that is what I do. Call up a friend and panic. She of course has experienced this three times, and when I confronted her about my inexperience in such endeavors, she pointed out that there is nothing small about giving birth... like that's supposed to be comforting!
That makes things worse!
Of course I am me. I probably won't actually get pregnant, if I do, then I probably will get this idea in my mind to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming labor, because APPARENTLY that will be our birthing plan, if I actually get pregnant. The problem with birthing plans is that all they are, are plans! Plans change. If you have been privy to my life, you would know that not a single plan I make goes as planned. I could decide to get up and go to bed, only to fall over my computer cord, break my leg, end up in the hospital and not make it to my own bed for forty eight hours! That is my luck!
So I try not to make plans. But I am, who I am, and who I am is a planner.
Therefore, let's say I get the great gift of being pregnant. I will spend all nine months, preparing my mind for a natural delivery, because that is what will be planned. I will then end up deciding that I am glad I can have a child the natural way and find comfort in the quicker recovery time and such. Then of course, because it's only a plan, I will get to experience not only the severe pain, that I would love to avoid, of childbirth, but end up having an emergency C-section. So I would enjoy the best of both worlds...
No, I'm totally not overdramatic, I don't know why you would suggest such a thing. My husband only has nicknamed me hyperbole (pronounced hyper - bowl), because of the irony of calling such a calm, level-headed never exaggerates woman like myself, hyperbole. I never speak in hyperbole (pronounced high-per-bah-lee).