Today, I am on day five (or is it six?) of my shots. Tomorrow. I go in for another ultrasound and blood work. My last results were all good. I'd give you the stats, but they wouldn't mean much to you.
I'm focusing on laying low. At the beginning of the shots, my body reacted harshly and I had trouble handling the emotions that came with it. The last two days I have felt like myself. I feel in control of my mood and my thoughts. This was a relief since I upped one of the hormones and started a third. I thought for sure it would keep me in my funk. I now take one shot in the morning and two at night.
My saving grace is my babysitting jobs. They keep me busy and keep my mind off of everything. I'm trying to plan lots of activities, hoping that it will keep me from thinking.
Physically, I feel cramping. Truth is I feel cramping ninety five percent of days (slight exaggeration), which is in part due to scar tissue from my past surgeries, cysts, and who knows what else. Although this seems a little more pronounced, so I think its related to the hormones.
I have read that you often will have pregnancy symptoms while doing the shots, truth is I have none of the typical pregnancy symptoms, unless not being able to think clearly and rationally is one of them.
Despite this being the biggest thing in my life at the moment, my mind has been on one of three topics, none of which have anything to do with pregnancy or IVF. It's amazing, no matter how big our stresses and worries are, there is someone going through far worse. Pregnancy or not, I am blessed.
I know if I get pregnant, my life will only change for the better. If I don't, its not like my life will be forever altered. What this tells me, if my biggest problem today will only end in one of two ways, neither being irreparable damage to my heart or life, then I need to thank God for this unique experience. My thoughts and prayers are with people who are having true hardships.
Please continue to pray for Little Miss (she is getting hopeful... yay), that it will result in a pregnancy, that I can maintain clear thinking, and if it doesn't work that we will know what direction God would like us to go from there.
After six years of infertility, she was blessed with the adoption of her oldest daughter who now is a teenager. Six years later, she finally became a mother a second time, this time with a baby through a donated egg and ivf. Throughout that time, she fostered nine babies and toddlers, met wonderful women who helped her grow, and learned to rely on Jesus. She started this blog with the hope that she could share her joy, experience, and willingness to grow with others, whether they battle infertility, toddlers, or teens.