I recently ran across an article from someone vehemently against IVF. As I read, I realized she was sorely misinformed. She made five points, four of which were made due to misinformed. Iit got me looking into other articles. Each cited practices that are not accurately portrayed of any of the fertility facilities I spoke with.
I am pro-life, but even more than that, I am right-to-life. That means, I believe that all embryos created, should be given the opportunity to live. Each facility, we have ever talked to, all were very strong right-to-life advocates. This included atheist and Christian doctors. My favorite doctor was an atheist and yet the most vocal of his right-to-life stance. I point this out, because I think people assume pro-life is a Christian thing. It's not. You can be an atheist and pro-life, you can be a feminist and pro-life, it just means that you value all life, no matter the developmental stage. I'm not trying to start a debate, or push my values onto you, but I have my beliefs, you have yours, that's fine. The purpose is to inform people about what I found during my research when deciding to do IVF.
Within each of these fertility clinics, they will not destroy embryos, nor send them to a medical research facility. People can choose to take them somewhere else to be destroyed, they must allow this by law, but they will not do it themselves.
In our fertility treatment, all embryos, regardless of viability, will be implanted either back into us, or donated to an infertile couple (assuming they outlive us.) Only two will be implanted at a time. Every clinic we talked to has this same practice. They only do three if the mother is older, and implantation is less likely. This prevents a high number of multiples.
Embryos created through IVF also have a higher chance of implanting than those that have been created naturally. An embryo fertilized naturally has a 20 percent chance of implanting itself on the wall of the uterus, whereas one fertilized in a lab has a 45 percent chance of implantation. I'm not sure how they could have possibly gotten the first statistic, but it is believed to be true.
I understand not everyone agrees to the use of IVF as a fertility treatment, but it's not a decision we have made lightly. We have researched, prayed, and sought wise counsel. There are reasons, we are choosing not to do infant adoption first, which I probably will not share on a blog, as it may be the choice we choose in the future.
If you know me, you know that I personally strongly disagree with this statement.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for college and educating children, but I also am a firm believer that children need to be kids. They need to be able to explore the world, they need to dance, they need to sing, they need to act, they need to draw, they need to color, they need to climb trees, scrape knees, build blocks, make snow angels, do crafts, cuddle, squeal, cry, laugh, and be a kid.
Unfortunately, we're losing this in our society, which is evident in the article I just read in the Washington Post, entitled Kindergarteners Show Cancelled So Kids Can Become 'College and Career Ready' Really?
I don't think that I actually need to recap the article, since the title pretty much explains it all, except maybe that this article also shows the letter sent home to parents explaining their decision and that the letter was verified to be true.
The thing is, we are losing all that makes people individuals by taking away the arts. My cousin, who is an extremely successful Lead Engineer for EA Sports, is in large part successful because of his hard work at school. The thing the school's forget is that, people like him chose their career path because of the hours of play they did as a child. I remember him taking me on "adventures" where we would act out video games, running into problems that only video game characters would run into. We would fight and defeat them or die and miraculously come back to life (used up a life).
I am having very intense feelings, many very surprising feelings, some old, some new. Fortunately, God has blessed me with the world's greatest friends who talk me down when my anxiety has gotten the best of me. Since, I don't know how to express the ridiculous amount of medication I had in a blog, I decided to vlog it.
Personally, I think that sounds like a very inappropriate word, I didn't create it, just reused it, which I think will be the first and last time I use it. So here is my video blog about my medications. Please pray that I find ways to calm myself. I am also praying that this is the right decision. I too often, second guess, what God has already revealed to me. It's not like I am going into this without constant prayer. We have gone forward cautiously, and prayerfully, which is what we will continue to do.
So while I freak out, enjoy this video of me and my medication.
I have said I would post about my surgery, once I decided whether I am happy for my LASIK eye surgery or not. Well, I have decided.
And, drum roll please.
I'm happy I had it!
This is a stark contrast to just a few days ago. The difference is that I have started using gel moisturizers for my eyes. That very day, I saw a HUGE difference. My vision went from, non-consistent, to being able to see as well as I did with my glasses prior to surgery, if not better
So for those debating on whether or not they should have the surgery, this is what I will say.
Definition of J-Pouch: For those who do not know, a j-pouch is a "pouch" they make from your ileum (bottom part of the small intestine) that will work as your colon (which has been removed) and attached so that way you can use the restroom in the traditional way.
My Brief Background: I had my surgery in 2001, I have had my main incision cut open four to five times, my belly button cut open about the same, and a few other incisions around the abdomen. I have had nine major surgeries and slightly more minor surgeries.
What to expect when/if I am expecting: (Based on what I have read on j-pouch sites.)
Conclusion: I need to stop reading about pregnancy until I actually am pregnant, it will only drive me crazy and make it that much harder if the pregnancy test is negative.
Today, bible study was about the mean girl. Okay, it was about more than that, but that is what had caught my attention, mostly because just that morning I felt like the mean girl when I said something thoughtless, and stuck my foot in my mouth.
Why do I do that?
It was one of those things you can't apologize for, because it would just make it worse. Yet, the moment it came out, I wanted to hit the rewind button on my life. Unfortunately, we do not come with one. So instead, I felt guilty praying that this moment in history will be forgotten by all. If only life was that easy.
I don't struggle so much being a mean girl, when it comes to angry words. My mean moments are those unintended moments that my mouth gets me in trouble. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this.
I hate that about myself. Especially when you are trying to make new friends and instead of putting your best foot forward, it goes straight in your mouth!
I have had a multitude of people tell me they didn't think I should do in vitro. Some were because of fear for my life, some fear for my health, and others are morally against it. I can understand each and every single one of these concerns, but I can assure you we would not be doing it if we didn't have the confidence it was the right decision for our family.
First, for those who fear for my life. Despite my complicated medical history, my life is not at risk if I were to get pregnant. Although I had a pulmonary embolism, it was not caused by factors that would make it more likely for me to have another one. Pregnancy has taken the life of many women, and I am not taking this lightly. I know that there are many things that could go wrong if I were to get pregnant that could either harm me or the baby. The thing is, anything likely to happen to me, is just as likely to happen to any other woman.
For those who fear for my health. I have talked extensively to all my doctors. I have learned that there are minimal risks. The stats are in our favor, and in fact, they actually have said that my health is just as likely to improve as it is to get worse. Whenever someone gets pregnant, their entire chemistry changes. This sometimes works in their favor, and sometimes works against them.
I have felt very special for the past forty eight hours, because so many people have asked about the appointment. It was all good news in my opinion. Kevin wasn't happy when he found out he has to give me some of my shots. Aside from that, here are some of the good things.
So today I was reading the Matt Walsh blog. Regardless of whether you agree with his politics or tone, I found his article about modesty thought provoking.
The thing is, my husband and I have also been talking about this concept quite a bit. My husband probably best described "modesty (as)... not bringing attention to yourself."
Truth is, I had never heard of this definition of modesty. If you would have asked me, I would have described modesty as covering up all necessary parts.
It seems like in my life, God always has a way of teaching me something repeatedly in a short time. Usually, I'll find it in my devotions, then at church, then a random friend. Well, this week, through my husband and a blog, I've begun growing tired of.
I'm beginning to realize that there are areas where I need to become more modest. My blog, for one, my Facebook statuses. I'm not saying just talking about yourself is immodest, but how you talk and present yourself can be.
Later today, I will be having my IVF appointment. In the meantime, I have been looking over the paperwork they gave me from our last appointment. Mainly the statistics. I have to admit, I am ignoring anything for 35 years old and above, because those statistics are depressing.
The office I am going to success rate for the past three years is as follows:
2008 - 45.5% 2009- 48.2% 2010 - 37%
What that means is, we have about a 42% chance of having success with IVF(live birth).... or 58% chance that it won't work. That seems like a very high percentage to stake $15,000 on.
In case you are also curious, of those live births approximately 33 percent are twins. That's a pretty high statistic as well. Ai ai ai!
The one concern I have, is that our in vitro cycle will most likely be delayed due to cysts. I had one burst last night or so I assume. I was in quite a bit of pain. It usually means it is either bursting or getting too big, when I feel that amount of pain. Since I get cysts A LOT, this will probably be our biggest battle. So if you want to pray for us, those are the two areas I'd like prayer. That it will work, and cysts won't interfere with the process. The longer the process takes, the more expensive it is on us.
After six years of infertility, she was blessed with the adoption of her oldest daughter who now is a teenager. Six years later, she finally became a mother a second time, this time with a baby through a donated egg and ivf. Throughout that time, she fostered nine babies and toddlers, met wonderful women who helped her grow, and learned to rely on Jesus. She started this blog with the hope that she could share her joy, experience, and willingness to grow with others, whether they battle infertility, toddlers, or teens.