I have had a multitude of people tell me they didn't think I should do in vitro. Some were because of fear for my life, some fear for my health, and others are morally against it. I can understand each and every single one of these concerns, but I can assure you we would not be doing it if we didn't have the confidence it was the right decision for our family.
First, for those who fear for my life. Despite my complicated medical history, my life is not at risk if I were to get pregnant. Although I had a pulmonary embolism, it was not caused by factors that would make it more likely for me to have another one. Pregnancy has taken the life of many women, and I am not taking this lightly. I know that there are many things that could go wrong if I were to get pregnant that could either harm me or the baby. The thing is, anything likely to happen to me, is just as likely to happen to any other woman.
For those who fear for my health. I have talked extensively to all my doctors. I have learned that there are minimal risks. The stats are in our favor, and in fact, they actually have said that my health is just as likely to improve as it is to get worse. Whenever someone gets pregnant, their entire chemistry changes. This sometimes works in their favor, and sometimes works against them.
I will have an uncomfortable pregnancy, due to scar tissue. There is nothing I can do about that. I will be very nervous for the delivery because of my modified digestive system (j-pouch/complete colectomy). This is probably the only true concern I have, yet the doctor's say that this has not been a problem for others with the same medical history.
Then, lastly, for those who feel it is morally unacceptable. I am sorry that you feel that way. I'm not going to try to convince you that it is okay. I do know that not a single person has walked on this earth that God did not want nor that God did not create. I have not seen anything in the bible that leads me to believe He has anything against IVF or any medical intervention to help fertility or otherwise. We are not trying to play God. If He does not want this to be, He can choose for me not to produce eggs, for Kevin not to produce sperm, for the egg and sperm not to have the chemical reaction that makes an embryo, or for the embryo not to implant into my uterus. IVF is completely in God's hands. We are not trying to play God.
We have taken very deliberate steps these past ten years that have led us to this point. This was not a spur of the moment decision. This was calculated, prayerful, and blessed. We decided a long time ago, that we would not pursue this option if the money was not there. Amazingly, God has blessed us. It took ten years, but God closed other doors that we stood eagerly by waiting for answers. The thing is, doors were closed. This one stood wide open. This might not be what leads us to building our family further, but I feel there is a reason we were led down this path. Even if this path only leads to more or worse heartache. Not a single heartache have I experienced that God has not used for his good, whether in my life or someone else's.
So whether you are for our decision or against it, please keep us in your prayers. We have decided to allow others to know our plans, because we want people to pray for us. I would not be blogging about this otherwise. I am willing to risk the embarrassment of it not working, or the embarrassment and heartache of a miscarriage. I am inspired by a verse that I cannot find. Does anyone know where that verse in the bible is that talks about when two people pray together it is stronger than when one person does?
Addendum: The verse is Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." (Thank you Kim)
Also, I had forgotten one of the moral objections about IVF that there are concerns of what will happen to the embryos after they are created (Thanks Jeremy). Our doctor and ourselves are right to life, which is more than just pro-life. It means that we believe the embryos should not be destroyed or used for scientific experiments. Each and every embryo we will have, we will either use ourselves, or donate to an infertile couple.
This Christian mom is far from perfect, but continually strives to grow and develop. She is an avid reader of both fiction and non-fiction and focuses a lot on personal growth. She loves to share what she has learned through her studies and her own failures, as well as walks alongside other mothers as they learn together the ins and outs of parenting.