As an infertile woman, I still hear these things being said. I am pointing them out now in order to educate people, because I am finally at a place where these no longer hurt me like they used to.
Just relax it will happen.
This is a sentiment I get all the time! Even now, people try to insist that if we just relax about getting pregnant, then it will miraculously happen. Some people I educate about why we don't, others I just smile and nod, and pretend that they are giving sound advice. Truth is, the first year of trying I was relaxed and nothing happened. I hadn't yet shared with anyone. As the year went on, we were still young and I assumed it would happen, so we did start getting anxious and nothing happened. Although, the lack of a pregnancy did not occur, because we were starting to get anxious. It's just not very good advice, and sometimes comes across as ignorant and unkind.
It just takes time.
I was told this after year eight. This was a known fact to the speaker. I informed them why I couldn't get pregnant, and they still insisted that it would happen. It's amazing how many people truly believe I will miraculously get pregnant naturally, no matter how I try to explain my biology, and natural biological functions, and how these two things do not coincide.
If you adopt, you'll relax and get pregnant.
I adopted five years ago, still waiting for that miracle pregnancy to just happen. Ironically, I am still told this to this day. I'm like, why would if we adopt a second time be a more efficient tool to get pregnant than it was the first time we adopted.
Don't do IVF, there are so many babies out there that need a home.
If there really were so many babies out there that needed a home, they couldn't get away with charging $30,000 adoption fees. The truth is their is a bigger demand than there is a supply. Not that I should be referring to supply and demand to adoption, but essentially that is the case. I know several women who would love to adopt, but I know very few babies that need a home.
IVF is just the easy way to get what you want!
IVF is NOT easy! I was told this, because someone felt that I was giving up on adoption to do in vitro, because I wanted the easy way out. Now, there is some truth to that. I do think IVF might be easier in some respects, but overall there is way too much pain and hassle to call this the easy way.
IVF is a sin.
Explain this one to me. If you can prove to me how this is a sin, then I will retract this one, but until then, I see no proof that God has anything against us creating life, because essentially the life will only be created if it is his will.
I know this deviates from my usual uplifting posts, but today I felt like we needed to rant a little!